Modern Family Life
The issues faced by the people in society change over time. This is not to say that parenting models from the last century are not relevant today, but they can’t be expected to predict or understand the demands placed on parents by developments such as the internet, environmental concerns, and different working practices.
Expectations have also changed over time.
- Parents in previous generations didn’t have the term ‘quality time’ in their vocabulary
- Parents didn't consider their children’s education until they were at least six
- There was little expectation for women to do anything outside the home
Families lived closer together, providing invaluable support networks for new parents. Closer knit communities meant that young adults were often around children (nieces, nephews etc) throughout their lives and the whole idea of raising children was less daunting because of this. Parents today tend to be older, and therefore more established in their career and social life, which can involve little interaction with young children and babies. It is increasingly common for a successful professional to have spent little or no time in the presence of babies until they have one themselves. It is no wonder, then that intelligent, capable people are being blind-sided by the changes that take place when a new baby arrives.
In today’s society, education is emphasised from an early age which means that parents no longer feel that their child is learning enough by being involved with or watching adults and older siblings, they must have their own activities – hence the plethora of baby toys and classes that have sprung up over the last decade. Previous generations of parents simply didn’t have the same pressure to educate their children.
The freedom parents give their young children has also reduced greatly over the last few decades. Many adults can remember being let out to play and told to be back for tea. This would give the parent time to cook, clean and have some time to themselves. Today’s children do not, normally, get the same level of freedom, and so are more demanding of parent’s time and energy. As a result, they also tend to be less able than previous generations to amuse themselves, resolve their own conflicts and communicate effectively. This all combines to make a parents job more stressful and tiring and can result in compromised ability to cope.
Recent reports of ‘Cotton Wool Childhoods’ (Ed Balls, BBC News, July 17th 2007) and books such as ‘No Fear’ by Tim Gill highlight the detrimental effects of over-supervision on children’s development,
but there is little recognition of the added demands that reduced freedom and increased fear has on parents.
It’s not that there is anything wrong with taking a child to baby classes, quite the reverse, with one proviso – as long as it is not having a negative impact on the parent. If a parent enjoys the classes and sees them as an opportunity to meet with other adults then great, but sometimes the pressure of having to be somewhere at a certain time, when a young baby is not in a routine, or the appointment is eating into nap time, can lead to conflict and turn what is supposed to be a fun experience into a stressor. The effect that repeated stress can have on a family is enormous.